Beyond Rules, Authority, and Compliance

Rethinking moral development in children

I remember sitting in an undergraduate psychology course, learning about the mental health differences between individualist and collectivist societies. Collectivist cultures, with their focus on community and the common good over individual goals, seemed vastly superior to the American emphasis on independence and identity; predictably, mental health seemed to be better when people did a better job taking care of one another. So, when I hear praise for children being rule breakers or see "compliance" treated as a dirty word, I worry about the distressing American-ness of our approach to raising and educating kids.

In contrast to efforts to enhance emotional development in schools, we've lagged in promoting moral development. Principles such as compliance, manners, and fairness are often dismissed as outdated, overly restrictive, or even detrimental. However, these principles are fundamental in teaching respect and responsibility.

It’s helpful to take a step back and reflect on how morality develops in children. In their early years, children view rules as fixed and absolute, focus on fairness, and show a blind respect for authority. As they mature, they start to question rules and authority more critically, developing nuanced views on justice. Contrary to concerns, emphasizing compliance and respect for authority does not stifle a child's agency or hinder critical thinking. Instead, it lays the groundwork for advanced moral reasoning. The black-and-white thinking in early childhood is a necessary precursor to the abstract and critical thinking skills developed later. Discouraging these early stages can actually impede a child's ability to mature in their moral reasoning.

Moral development is crucial. Children need to learn how to navigate power dynamics and societal rules, skills that are indispensable for both individual success and social well-being. These skills prepare children to manage professional environments and leadership roles effectively and to contribute positively to their communities.

Our neglect in fostering moral development becomes glaringly apparent in discussions about civil disobedience. Many young people—and the adults who guide them—seem to think they can break rules without facing consequences, claiming the rules are unjust. However, they miss a crucial element of civil disobedience: the principle of accepting the consequences of one's actions to highlight the injustice. True civil disobedience involves breaking rules openly with a readiness to accept the penalties, demonstrating the conviction that the cause is worth any personal repercussions. It's about taking ownership and responsibility with confidence and pride.

We need to rethink how we cultivate emotional intelligence in children and to broaden our approach to include moral development. In doing so, we will prepare children not only to succeed in life but also to enhance the world around them.

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I heard that Jeremy Jordan used to be a teacher at Little Maestros!