Screen Time
How to help your kids establish a healthy electronic diet
One of the most common sources of conflict between kids and their parents is screen time: kids want it, and parents want to restrict it. I empathize with both sides. On one hand, so much of life exists online, and, like most adults, kids want to use their devices to socialize and to entertain themselves. On the other, our collective dependence on electronics has gotten really excessive. Someone recently told me that phones, in particular, have dulled the best qualities and brought out the worst qualities in all of us, and I couldn’t agree more. We need to get out of our screens and into the world.
So when I am forced to mediate conflicts between kids and their parents, I emphasize that not all screen time is created equal. It’s helpful to conceptualize three dimensions of screen time:
active versus passive,
social versus solitary, and
decent versus profane.
Screen time that is active, social, and decent is more productive than screen time that is passive, solitary, and profane, so if a kid wants screen time, parents can either encourage activities on the productive end of the spectrum or suggest ways to make the kid’s desired activities more productive.
For example, playing video games is active, whereas scrolling TikTok is passive. Playing video games with friends is social, whereas playing video games alone is solitary. Playing Minecraft is decent, whereas playing Grand Theft Auto is profane. Understand that screen time is neither avoidable nor monolithic, and choose the versions that are, at least, relatively good.
I think it’s also helpful to compare screen time to food. Sometimes, after a long day of eating nutritious food, you just want a scoop of Ben and Jerry’s, and that’s ok. Similarly, at the end of a physically and cognitively demanding day, it’s nice to indulge in some brain drain. Most of the food you eat should be healthy, just like most of the activities you do should be healthy, but a little bit of junk is fun. There is a time and a place for everything in moderation. So help your kids develop a healthy diet.
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Seth Rudetsky is so brilliant!