Stop Talking!

Saying more by saying less

When I was in 11th grade, preparing for the SAT II Writing test, one lesson stood out: the correct choice in sentence revision questions was usually the shortest option. This realization has stuck with me, guiding my approach to communication in various areas of my life. And I think it’s also helpful for teenagers and their parents to keep in mind that the best way to convey a message is often the simplest and most concise.

The importance of brevity for teens

In school, students are encouraged to vary sentence structure and meet specific page lengths. While these instructions are well-meaning, they often lead to sentence structures that are needlessly complex and paragraphs filled with fluff. In an attempt to sound smart, kids produce writing that is confusing and hard to follow. 

My advice to kids is always the same: Write simple, declarative sentences—subject, verb, object—and eliminate unnecessary words. The goal is to communicate as much as needed to make the point, and nothing more. If there's nothing further to say, it's perfectly fine to say nothing. This approach not only improves the quality of the writing but also makes the argument much clearer.

The importance of brevity for parents

I’ve noticed a trend in parenting advice that emphasizes using scripts with long, wordy explanations about feelings. Many of these scripts are paired with warnings to avoid simple commands like “be careful” or “hurry up,” suggesting instead that parents offer detailed justifications for their requests.

While this might seem like a thoughtful approach, it often has the opposite effect. The most effective way to communicate a directive is to keep it short and clear. Assuming kids understand the expectations placed on them–and teenagers usually do–longer explanations can be confusing and annoying. And many of these scripts unintentionally open the door for questions and debates about whether kids really need to follow through, leading to power struggles that I have to imagine most parents would prefer to avoid.

The same principle applies to praise. A simple “good job” or a non-verbal gesture like a high-five, thumbs up, or hug can be more meaningful than a lengthy compliment. Overly elaborate praise can make children feel anxious and uncomfortable, and they may even doubt the sincerity of the praise.

The best way to say something is generally the simplest, most straightforward way. Concise language not only makes communication more effective but also respects the time and cognitive load of the audience. When it comes to language, less is usually more.

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Elle Woods walked so Cady Heron could run!