The College Admissions Spectacle

Why do you all do this to yourselves?

It's that time of year again when I find myself comforting anxious high school seniors as they await their early decision notifications. The air is thick with anticipation, and their phones are at the ready.

Interestingly, when these kids are at their most rational and reflective, they can acknowledge that this moment, while significant, isn't truly life-altering. They understand, intellectually at least, that their happiness and success don't hinge on any single acceptance or rejection. Many can even name multiple schools where they can envision themselves happy and well educated.

For the most part, what’s driving their anxiety boils down to two short-term concerns:

First, there's the practical desire to be "done." Getting accepted early means they can coast through the rest of the year without the pressure of maintaining perfect grades or completing regular decision applications. It's an understandable desperation for relief after years of academic pressure.

The second concern is more troubling: the fear of public embarrassment and shame. They are afraid to admit to their classmates that they got deferred or rejected. While I can completely empathize, I find myself increasingly puzzled by how they’ve transformed college admissions into a social media spectacle. These kids film themselves clicking "submit" on applications. They record and share their reactions to decision emails. They create class Instagram accounts that meticulously document each acceptance. Oftentimes, the schools get in on the action: some even dedicate entire walls to displaying where their students have been admitted—a physical manifestation of what feels increasingly like a public performance of achievement.

The question that keeps nagging at me is why? Why have school communities allowed—or perhaps actively created—this culture in which one of kids’ most personal moments is shared, documented, and displayed for public consumption?

What if, instead, schools encouraged students to treat college decisions as the personal matters they are? To share their news when and how they feel comfortable, without the pressure to perform their joy or manage their disappointment for an audience?

The truth of the matter is that getting into college is exciting. It's an achievement worth celebrating. But kids’ lives are not part of one big reality show. This is not content. It's not a performance piece.

To the high school seniors reading this: You don't owe anyone a reaction video. You don't need to immediately post your acceptance or explain your deferral or rejection. You can process these moments in your own time, in your own way. College admission is nothing more than a stressful, exciting, and personal transition point in a much longer journey.

Remember that the story of your life won't be determined by where you go to college—and it certainly won't be determined by how many likes your acceptance post receives.

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Dying to see this over winter break!